Thursday, March 27, 2014

To Elizabeth in Myanmar

I met her again today
How many women with beautiful eyes
on a bicycle
take time to look into the walkers-by
folks like me
And smile
Not once or twice; many a times
In span of few seconds

How many women with beautiful eyes
on a bicycle
smile and love
without saying the polite - Hi!

She does
She, the Buddhist nun

The first time I met her
It was a casual conversation
over something yoga-ish
Someone who knew her mother
Introduced me to her
and I heard this:

my friend and your dear yoga teacher,
her daughter
hushhh
is a Buddhist nun in Myanmar
It is so violent there
Her mother gets concerned
wondering-
'Her twenty something! 
She has seen nothing of life yet! 
And, what has she seen that I dread!
Hushhh'

The next time I met her
I was at my teacher's
Met her own mother!
'Yes! My daughter is in Myanmar
and it is hard.
She tells me it is okay
and that she can come back whenever she wants'

I remember
What I felt
How familiar!
longing to allow Her
Fear of accepting Her
Fear of being Her
and in doing so lose the ones I say I love

chatter box

Met her again-
No this time, I was stalking her
I found Her on the crazy Facebook
shaven hair, beautiful eyes

Oh my!
Beautiful  beautiful  beautiful
So beautiful eyes!
( On a side note, eyes fascinate
In any attempt to replicate human portraiture,
always start with eyes. always)

It cant be my fantasy! This is running away from life
Blah blah... familiar fear and blaming...
blah blah blah
not yet not yet... blah blah 

Stalked her on internet, found some old pics
She looks the same in all; the only difference being
the unshaven head and the jeans and the top
the same beautiful eyes

New fantasy- to be a nun
Stared at her picture for days
days! oh my!
days; they are long

chatter box:

 no; no NO!
I am not buddhist or anything
Heck! This is toopid
toopid toopid Ha!

and

A nun; with my
unshaven head and
fancy robes
of shirt and the jeans and that sweater
and attachments and detachments
and stories and drama
love 
I am here, and the nun has arrived

I saw her today again
in person, for the first time
On a bicycle, riding downhill on our campus
She smiled at me
not once not twice
Head wrapped in shawl; it is cold today
No robes, no shaven head
Nun

Do you believe in bilocation? Yes, that fluffy shit!
do you believe in your experience?
Your very own?
I do.
specially because
I know a face when I see it
And a face with those beautiful beautiful eyes
beautiful beautiful

(And always remember eyes,
and remember to always start human portrait with eyes
In my experience,
It is always in the eyes
Nobody taught that; to me
but for experience)

They say she is in Burma
Do they really see her?









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