Many shades of Rape Part 1

Often the rape victim is blamed in such words as these:
"She should not be outdoors at this time of the day."
"What was she doing there?"
"Did you know your assaulter before?"
"Who were you with?" aka if you were with a male friend you are 'loose charactered' and asked to be raped.
"She must have lured them!"
"What was she wearing?"
"She must have asked for it."
and even "She should have called them bhaiya and begged them to stop."
... and so on and on.

And then there is the very sad two finger test. Apparently only a virgin can be raped.

(I am using feminine gender of English language here, but my concerns do cover all genders.)

A lot of anger and criticism has already been  directed towards such remarks and questions.
Much anger aside, my big concern today is this:

The above questions (often asked by lawyers, ministers and social experts such as Asaram) rule out any possibility of justice in instances of date rapes and marital rape.

Wait a minute! Slow down. Did I say marital rape, and you kept reading without a pause and a baffled mind?
When was the last time women spoke out loud about the rape and violence within marriage or withing a relationship? If two people are married, can they not exercise any discretion regarding their choice to have or not have sex with their partners? Oh please do tell me that the very sacred marriage has plenty of room for violence and forced sex!
And then there is the infamous date rape.
Did you know you perpetrator? Yes.
What kind of relationship did you have with the alleged perpetrator? Romantic.
Are you both married? No.
She asked for it! (I would have burnt my daughter alive, if she had pre-marital sex.)
Or did she?
I am waiting
I am waiting for the wonderful time
When the issues of rape are treated with respect
and the cases of Date and Marital rape
come out of silence and shame.
The wonderful time when violence is violence.
(I am not asking a lot, am I?)
And no rape victim asked for it.
And is not harassed by society
nor chased by media.
When rape is not a hot news for news channels.
But another sad reminder of the immense disparity between the genders

 

Victim of now infamous Delhi Gang Rape December 2012

Mother of two, raped and killed in Lucknow, UP. And, no I don't think that censoring 'gruesome' images, will help reduce the crime or the alive victims.