Such a life~

There is no question of honesty here~

In the thought of conjuring up a lie
my freedom is at stake
my innocence hangs on the noose
my heart is on the tip of sharpest sword
It is not a matter of honesty any more
It is common sense
very common and very clear.

And so I murder everyday
my vital heart I stab
and drink the blood of my innocence
every time I speak a lie
Like today morning…
I said I am sorry
when I was not
I was not being untruthful
 or nice
I was butchering my Love
slowly bleeding it in pain.

Not such a life is alive
In denial of Life itself
Here is my truth now
I feel scared, ashamed, small,
and repulsive
because I am the doer of that
which kills my innocence
twice.